A Month to Love 1 Page 2

  Lizzy guessed she was letting her imagination get away with her there, but it was still a slightly exciting and intoxicating thought to pretend she was aboard a pirate vessel. It was just the sort of fantasies a younger Lizzy would’ve enjoyed when she was finding solace in her books and letting her imagination run freely.

  After knocking for them and saying, “This is the captain,” Aguillot nodded his head at them and darted away. His discretion was surprising.

  Richard open the door seconds later. “What is the…?” He trailed off with a groan when he recognized Darcy. He seemed on the verge of slamming shut the door for a moment, but after a second, he opened it to indicate Darcy should enter. He started to close the door on Lizzy, and then he gasped as she put out a hand to stop him. “My apologies, miss. I did not see you there.”

  Lizzy didn’t answer until the door was closed, and then she pushed back the cloak. “It is all right. My discretion is by design, as I hope to avoid being recognized by anyone.”

  She moved away from Richard before he could respond, going to Charlotte. Her friend laid on the bed, and her eyes were closed. She looked ill. Lizzy sat down beside her, taking Charlotte’s hand. “My dear friend, what are you thinking?”

  Charlotte’s eyes snapped open, and she looked shocked by Lizzy’s presence. “What are you doing here?”

  “I saw your note and hoped I could save you from ruin, dear Charlotte.”

  “There is nothing you can say to change my mind, Elizabeth. I love Richard, and we are going to start over. We choose to be happy together and damn the consequences.” She gagged then as the ship bobbed beneath them. “Hurry! The chamber pot, Lizzy.”

  She hastily complied to help her friend, though Charlotte did not need to make use of it in the end. She was simply queasy.

  Lizzy looked down at the way Charlotte was holding her stomach, noticing a slight bulge. “Oh, Charlotte.”

  Charlotte’s eyes snapped open again. “Don’t you judge me, Elizabeth Bennet. I deserve to be happy, and though I know my family will be distraught, and I might be shunned or ruined, I cannot let my child pay the price by remaining with Collins.”

  Lizzy struggled to soften her tone, trying to remove censure from it. “Of course, you deserve to be happy, but how can you be certain you are not taking Mr. Collins’ child from him?”

  Charlotte laughed, and it was a slightly bitter sound. “I can assure you, there is zero chance of that, Lizzy.”

  Elizabeth shook her head. “But how can you be certain?”

  Charlotte looked around for a moment, and then she lowered her voice. “Mr. Collins is unable to perform in that regard. He was most frustrated on the few attempts he has made, and he has not yet been successful.”

  Lizzy didn’t understand all the marriage act, but she knew there was a part that relied solely on the husband, and it sounded like Mr. Collins was incapable of that. “So, your marriage has not been consummated?”

  Charlotte shook her head.

  “Then you may have an annulment. That will solve everything, and you can marry Richard in a respectable fashion.”

  “Please do not be naïve, Miss Bennet,” said Richard, indicating he had heard part of their conversation. Lizzy had expected him to be distracted, since he and Darcy were exchanging sharp whispers. “Annulments can take years, and even then, it prevents both parties from being remarried short of an act of Parliament. We do not have that sort of time, and I am not inclined to waste the funds and years on a lost cause.”

  “There must be a solution that does not compromise your honor, or Charlotte’s.” Lizzy tipped her chin, struggling to find the answer.

  “Honor is less important than love,” said Charlotte decisively. She seemed almost pitying when she looked at Lizzy. “I pray someday you will understand the strength of such feelings, and how they can lead you to demand your own happiness at the expense of others. It is my wish that you feel something so strong. I wish you had not wasted your time coming, because we cannot be dissuaded.”

  Lizzy opened her mouth to argue again, but Darcy spoke then. “As we have become aware.” He turned to his cousin. “I suggest you make haste and go to the plantation in Jamaica.”

  Richard frowned. “Truly?”

  Mr. Darcy nodded. “It is my property, and I shall not reveal your use of it. I could certainly use a good person to oversee it, as we’ve had issues off and on. You and Miss Charlotte can assume new identities there and pretend your union is a lawful one. I shall not undermine your authority or your pretense. Nor shall I tell your family where you are. I will only pass along that you are safe.”

  Lizzy gasped. “You are encouraging this madness now, Mr. Darcy?”

  Darcy frowned her. “I have come to be persuaded to their way of thinking. We should not have come, especially at the risk of compromising your reputation. All we can do is wish them well and see them on their way, Miss Bennet.”

  Lizzy was completely confused, certain Darcy had been as opposed to this reckless folly as she was, but she could see she was the only one still searching for some other solution. Since it was not her life or her decision to make, there was little she could do to persuade them. In the end, all she did was hug Charlotte and ask her to write to her when she got settled.

  Charlotte frowned. “You are not afraid to remain associated with me, Lizzy?”

  Lizzy hesitated, and then she shrugged. “I doubt it would do my own reputation any good to be corresponding with a woman who would leave her husband and run off with a lover, but you are my friend first. Besides, I assume you shall have a different name, milady,” she said with a small smile. “I would not wish to lose contact with you over this.”

  Charlotte sat up for a moment, just long enough to hug her again, and then she laid down again, still looking quite ill.

  “I hope you can endure the voyage, since you seem to be under the weather.”

  “I shall manage somehow, sweet Lizzy.”

  Less than fifteen minutes later, they found themselves back at the phaeton, which had been guarded with precision by the youths. She noticed Darcy slip them a little extra as well, and the five boys ran off. She hoped they were in search of a good meal, because they all looked like they needed it.

  With the cloak firmly over her face, she let Darcy hand her back into the carriage, and then he came to the other side to join her. They were off a short time later, though Lizzy’s stomach was growling.

  She was surprised when Darcy stopped a short time away from the port city, drawing the phaeton up at an inn. “Surely, you do not plan to stay overnight here?”

  “Of course not. The horses require tending, and I assume you do as well, Miss Bennet. Your stomach is certainly expressing the wish to eat.”

  She flushed at the reminder, embarrassed that her stomach had betrayed her. She took Darcy’s hand when he helped her down, and that same frisson of awareness shot down her spine and made her fingers tingle. She squeezed them discreetly in her side as they walked in together. He approached the innkeeper. “We require a private room for dining.”

  “I do not have any private dining rooms, but I can rent you a room for a couple of hours.” The older woman gave him a knowing look. “Do you actually want food, sir?”

  Darcy scowled. “I would not have asked for it if I did not desire it. We shall take this arrangement.”

  The woman led them up a set of rickety stairs and opened the door for them. She gestured for them to enter, and she seemed to be avidly looking at Lizzy, hoping to catch a glimpse of her face. Lizzy did her best to stymie the efforts, keeping the cloak drawn over her head as much as possible until the woman had departed. She started to remove the cloak, but Darcy put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him. “Yes?”

  “I believe you should leave it on. You might need it at a second’s notice. The innkeeper seemed quite interested in discerning your identity, after all.”

  Lizzy would like to be rid of the heavy garment, but she understood his thinki
ng and agreed, so she kept it on as she sat in the chair.

  He didn’t speak as they waited for the innkeeper, and the silence was uncomfortable. Lizzy was dying to know why Darcy had changed his position and now supported his cousin in his endeavor.

  The innkeeper returned a short time later with bowls of stew and a jug of cheap red wine. Once more, she tried to get a glimpse of Lizzy, but Darcy quickly herded her out and locked the door behind her.

  “I believe you may remove the cloak now, Miss Bennet.”

  Lizzy did so, pushing it back as her stomach growled once more. No wonder she was so ravenous. She had not had a chance to grab breakfast before reading Charlotte’s note, so she had not eaten all day.

  She reached for a piece of the crusty bread, and though it was a little stale, it was fine when she sopped it up with the stew. She took a big bite, looking up to see Darcy watching her with a hint of amusement. Manners returned, and she quickly dropped the bread into the bowl and wiped her hands together to brush off the crumbs. “Pardon my lack of decorum, Mr. Darcy. My shortcomings in any area can hardly surprise you, but it was certainly an oversight on my part. I have not eaten yet today.”

  He had been smiling, but now he frowned. “I did not wish to make you uncomfortable. I found it charming, Miss Bennet. I do not think your manners are lacking simply because you are hungry.”

  “No, that must surely be a product of my birth and family,” she said with a too-sweet smile and a saccharine tone before deciding her mouth would be better employed by eating and maintaining the peace.

  Darcy stiffened, but he did not respond. Together, they ate in silence, at least until Lizzy had sated her appetite enough that she could slow down her eating. “Why did you change your mind, Mr. Darcy?”

  He scowled. “You refused my offer. How could I not change my mind?”

  Her eyes widened as she realized he was talking about the proposal yesterday. She cleared her throat and looked away. “I meant, why did you change your position on Charlotte and Col. Fitzwilliam’s hasty elopement?”

  “I had a few reasons.”

  She bit back a sigh of irritation. “And do you mind sharing at least a few of them, sir, so I can understand how you made a decision that seems so out of character?”

  He paused in the process of sipping the wine and set down the goblet. “How is it that you know my character, Miss Bennet? We have scarcely interacted.”

  She shrugged her shoulder. “I know your good opinion once lost is never retrievable, and you love against your will, and your position and status in society means a great deal to you. Naturally, I question how you can risk being tarnished by your cousin’s actions and still support him.”

  He seemed to think about it for a moment before he said, “There is a child involved.”

  She nodded. “A child that will now be raised as a bastard, and your cousin will surely be cut off by the Earl. They will have a hard life ahead of them.”

  Darcy shrugged. “They shall be at a fertile plantation, which should provide an ample living for them. They might not have the life they would have had here in England, but I suspect that appeals to both of them. Their child will grow up with two loving parents and be happy. He or she will have little use for titles, whether it be lord or bastard.”

  “Charlotte could have maintained her marriage to Mr. Collins and still seen Richard on the side. I understand that is a common arrangement in society, though it is usually the man who keeps a piece on the side, is it not?”

  “Some men do.” Darcy paused to take another bite of food, not looking at her for a moment. As he chewed, his gaze strayed to hers, and he seemed to be looking into her soul. “You would wish your friend to be involved in such a loveless arrangement, and risk her good name and scandal if it is revealed that the parson’s wife is having a dalliance?”

  Lizzy hesitated. “In an ideal world, of course I would not wish that. However, society is unforgiving, and she has ruined herself with these actions. It will spill over and affect her dear little sister Maria as well, and the Lucas family in general will be tarnished by her actions. It is most selfish.”

  “Perhaps, but love is selfish sometimes. Love can make you take actions you would not normally embark upon. Add in a child, and it is no wonder they decided to go where they can be together. After seeing their heartfelt devotion to each other, I could not do anything but support whatever it takes for them to be together.”

  Lizzy’s eyes widened. “Mr. Darcy, you sound like a romantic of the worst sort.”

  He didn’t reply. He simply returned his attention to his food, making it seem as though he was done with the topic.

  After a moment, Lizzy finished the rest of her bowl of stew as well, and they shared silence until there was a knock at the door fifteen minutes later. Lizzy hastily put up the hood and drew it around her face as Darcy went to answer the door.

  “Begging your pardon, sir, but your horses are ready. Do you require any more food?”

  “No, madam. We are sufficiently sated. Allow me to settle the bill, and then we shall depart.”

  Lizzy waited until Darcy had followed the innkeeper into the hallway, and then she stood up. She availed herself of the basin of water to wash her hands, and then she stood close to the door. Darcy slipped in a moment later, gesturing for her to join him, and she followed behind. She put a hand on his cloak as they walked down the stairs, wanting to stay close and using his larger form to hide hers as much as possible.

  They slipped out of the inn and back into their phaeton within minutes, and they were on the road again. With a full stomach, Lizzy started to feel sleepy, but it was impossible to sleep in the phaeton with the way it jolted across the poor roads. Her mind was preoccupied, so it took her a moment to realize Darcy had said her name. She turned to look at him. “Yes?”

  “Did you find the letter I left for you at the rectory this morning?”

  She frowned. “No, I did not. I took a long morning walk, and then when I returned to Hunsford, I found the note from Charlotte. I fear I did not pay much attention to my surroundings after that.” Her stomach knitted with tension. “What was in such a letter, Mr. Darcy?”

  “I assure you, it was not a plea to renew my campaign for your hand. I felt the need to explain a few things to you. May I do so now, since we have time before us?”

  Lizzy wanted to say no. She wanted to forget all about yesterday and bury the entire incident deep in her mind, never to be thought of again. Yet she could hardly refuse, since they had nothing else to discuss, and it seemed important to Darcy. “You may.”

  “The first thing I wish to address is George Wickham.”

  Lizzy stiffened, frowning at him. “I shall not tolerate you tearing down his character, Mr. Darcy.”

  Now he scowled. “I could scarcely tear down his character any farther than it already is, Miss Bennet. Some of what George has told you was accurate. We did grow up together, and we were much like brothers. My father had a tender affection for him, treating him as another son.”

  “And you were jealous of that.” Lizzy couldn’t keep the note of accusation from her tone.

  Darcy surprised her by nodding. “Perhaps a little, at least when I was younger, but I assure you, I outgrew it. When George’s father died, my father took him in as was proper. He planned to educate Wickham as the parson for Pemberley. Wickham gave every indication of wanting that before we were at Cambridge together. It was there that I first realized Wickham was not quite the man he pretended to be. He had a weakness for ladies and gambling, and he was often in his cups. I did my best to shield that.”

  Lizzy could scarcely believe that. She sniffed. “What possible motive would you have to help Mr. Wickham hide such vices?”

  “I did not wish to see my father hurt.”

  She gulped, unable to disbelieve him when he spoke with such quiet sincerity and clear devotion to his father. “Oh,” she said softly.

  “I kept an eye on him, and the persona he showed my
father was not the same man that I had seen at Cambridge and beyond, but I kept that secret. My father died, and his will included an endowment for Wickham to have a living as our parson. Wickham quickly made it clear to me that he did not wish to have such an arrangement. Instead, he asked for the value of the living in one lump sum. I gave him a check for three thousand pounds, and he disappeared.”

  Lizzy gasped. She wanted to disbelieve him, but there was something so steady and authentic about Darcy as he spoke that she was having a difficult time doing so. “You paid him his living then?”

  “I did. That did not stop him from returning several times over the ensuing years, always asking for more money. I indulged him a couple of times, but it was clear to me that he was headed down a bad path, and I had no wish to partake of his further ruination, so beyond buying him a commission in the militia, I told him I would not help him again.”

  Lizzy felt sick to her stomach as she contemplated what his words meant. If that were true, Wickham had certainly lied to her. Why had he tried to deceive her though, and why had he been bent on making her dislike Darcy?

  He went on as if her silence didn’t affect him. “Last year, my little sister, Georgiana, wanted a taste of life outside of Pemberley, so I agreed to let her rent a house in Ramsgate with a companion. Mrs. Younge came highly recommended, but I suspect now her references were faked.”

  “What?” Lizzy’s voice was a squeak of shock. “Why?”

  “She allowed Wickham unfettered access to my fifteen-year-old sister, whom he quickly tried to seduce into eloping. Georgiana believed herself in love with him, but fortunately, when I stopped for an impromptu visit, she made no attempt to hide their plan. She thought I would be happy for her, since she was in love—or believed herself to be—and she thought I held Mr. Wickham in high regard.”

  “You had not enlightened her about his proclivities either.” Lizzy could well imagine why Darcy had shielded his sister from that, especially if the man was mostly out of their lives.

  “No, though I now wish I had. He had not bothered to tell her of the change of circumstances either, of course. When I made it clear there would be no elopement, and if he somehow managed to convince Georgiana to run away with him, she would certainly never receive her thirty-thousand-pound dowry, he disappeared the next day. Georgiana was heartbroken, as you can imagine, though now she realizes she had a lucky escape from a fortune hunter.”